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rom517mm
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Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 03:18 pm |
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By God's grace I'm still not caving in to lust. As I've written elsewhere, I still struggle with my eyes being drawn to women's bodies. Thankfully, I'm able to turn quickly away and not dwell on what I've seen.
Perhaps underlying my sexual addiction is a desire to feel good, be comfortable, do what I want when I want, etc. I find that while I'm not using the computer to lust, I have been using it more to waste time. I tell myself that since I'm not lusting, a little leeway is acceptable as I make the transition. Has anybody else rationalized like this, and is it a typical and acceptable part of the process?
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"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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hans45
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Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 03:50 pm |
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Hi rom517mm,
I use the internet often throughout the day. Most of the time to check e-mails. This website takes up a lot of my time that I once used for looking at porn. A much better option I might add. It is very satisfying to go to God in daily prayer for not only myself, but for all who need Gods help on this site. This one thing has made me realize how much God really does love and care for us. Being by myself does sometimes get lonely and if I'm not careful and vigilent, the Devil can slip in easily. I never thought that I could go this long without looking at porn or lusting after a woman. It became such a large part of my life. For me, praying hard and often for others seems to work. I think the key to victory is focusing more on God and realizing that He has our best interest at heart. Hope you have a blessed day and God bless you.
Dennis
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rom517mm
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Posted: Fri Feb 15th, 2008 06:15 pm |
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Hans,
Thank you for your support and encouragement. I have been seeking God more than before, and He's blessing me with not only freedom from sexual obsession but also with greatly improved fellowship. I pray He continues to bless you as well.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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rom517mm
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Posted: Mon Feb 18th, 2008 10:19 pm |
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| Still hanging in there. So far, no lusting (yes, I've been drawn to look, but no long glances or purposeful attempts to see things I shouldn't). Thank you, Jesus, for another day.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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hans45
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Posted: Mon Feb 18th, 2008 11:07 pm |
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rom517mm,
Wonderful to hear. God bless you.
Dennis
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rom517mm
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Posted: Tue Feb 19th, 2008 01:50 pm |
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| Thank you. By the way, I do see there is an ongoing post regarding daily accountability for everybody, but I wanted my own post to make sure I don't get lost in the shuffle and thus make it easier for me to slip by. I might not post every day, but will usually do so at least on weekdays, so I pray that if I'm no posting for too many days in a row that somebody will ask me why.
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"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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junkyardboy
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Posted: Tue Feb 19th, 2008 04:29 pm |
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hans45 wrote: Hi rom517mm,
Being by myself does sometimes get lonely and if I'm not careful and vigilent, the Devil can slip in easily. I never thought that I could go this long without looking at porn or lusting after a woman. It became such a large part of my life. For me, praying hard and often for others seems to work. I think the key to victory is focusing more on God and realizing that He has our best interest at heart. Hope you have a blessed day and God bless you.
Dennis
i too, know how difficult it is to focus our thoughts on God, especially those times He seems so far away.
perhaps this will help:
"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
Philippians 4:8
peter
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have we been abandoned by God?
http://www.apprising.org/archives/2006/11/dr_john_macarth.html
http://www.valleybible.net/position_papers.php
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rom517mm
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Posted: Thu Feb 21st, 2008 10:08 pm |
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| Thank the Lord I'm still living in the light. I know how easy it has been and can be to cross that line. My wife and I made love recently, and I focused on pleasing her, so while I was sexually excited, I didn't have a chance to climax. Then, early this morning we were about to make love when my stomach started acting up. So now I've got this sexual energy built up inside of me that's looking for release. In the past I would have not even hesitated to masturbate. Now I know the sexual urges are there, but I choose (sometimes gritting my teeth!) to turn to the Lord, and I get through it. I guess I can get legimate release through my wife (though I need to make sure "love" and not lust is prevalent in our lovemaking), through a wet dream, or through God taking away or easing the sexual urges.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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rom517mm
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Posted: Fri Feb 22nd, 2008 08:10 pm |
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| Thank you Jesus, still not masturbating (but oh boy how tempted I feel to just give myself that extra little touch/rub). How often in the past I would tell myself I was just going to go a little further, not masturbate to climax mind you but just get a little rush. Well, I would inevitably find myself feeling so sexually charged I didn't want to stop, or I'd tell myself, "Well, I've gone this far, it's pretty much over the line anyway." I hate when even now I'll feel compelled to quickly touch, not even sure why (itch or some other discomfort? pleasure? habit?). Am I being too tough on myself? Too lax? Like a person who is overly conscious of some deformity, I find it difficult to stop realizing I have genitals and that they want sexual release. I will pray (and I ask your prayers) that I will be able to come back to this board the next time and say I trusted God and He brought me through again.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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rom517mm
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Posted: Sat Feb 23rd, 2008 09:43 pm |
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| Today was better. God does grant relief when it's looking rough. Thank you Jesus!
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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hans45
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Posted: Sun Feb 24th, 2008 06:50 pm |
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rom517mm wrote: Today was better. God does grant relief when it's looking rough. Thank you Jesus!
Good Sunday afternoon to you Rom. Reading your next to last post made me re-realize just how powerful Satan can be. The sexual urge in a man is natural. God created us that way. He created us that way because He wanted us to multiply for His glory. It is not wrong for us to want to have sex as He also gave it to us for pleasure. Don't feel guilty or think it is sinful to desire sex. You cannot change what God has put in you. Where we as sinful creatures go wrong is when we began to lust and desire sex outside of marriage. That's when Satan steps in and perversion takes over. Forgive me if it sounds like I'm preaching to you. I don't mean to. I know you know these things. I just don't want you to beat yourself up emotionally over this. You will be in my prayers today and I'm so glad things are looking better for you. Hang in there my brother. God bless.
Dennis
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rom517mm
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Posted: Mon Feb 25th, 2008 12:46 am |
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Dennis,
Thank you. It does help to know that. I know that putting myself down for having sexual thoughts has hurt me before, so I do need to allow myself to be a sexual person without letting the sexuality dominate me.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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rom517mm
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Posted: Wed Feb 27th, 2008 10:16 pm |
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| Thank the Lord I'm still doing well. I think I'm starting to see myself moving away from the "need" to lust. Of course, I mustn't let down my guard lest a particularly strong attack come and I'm unprepared. But it is a blessing to not feel I "have to" act on my lust, and to feel the days are somewhat more productive (though I'm still too often allowing myself to think it's OK to be lazy and not taking care of the tasks and other aspects of life that really matter simply because I'm not masturbating).
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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rom517mm
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Posted: Sat Mar 1st, 2008 10:38 pm |
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| I'm still OK. Yesterday my wife was upset over a combination of things. I had thought it best to hold off telling her some bad news about a job prospect (I have been out of work since last August). A job we both had been hoping might be the one for me was given to somebody else, and because my wife was having a tough time with other issues, I held off telling her until that morning. She said it was not good timing. Then she had what she calls a "melt down." Which is rare for her. But she cried out to God asking why still no job. She as also dealing with an estranged relationship with her sister, which seemed to get worse when a friend of my wife's came (it seems my sister-in-law is upset that my wife is closer to her friend than to her). Anyway, all that had my wife quite upset, and at one point as she was unloading her feelings (partly on me), she said something like, "Well I suppose you're going to go up to the computer today and do your thing." I immediately told her I wasn't. And I didn't. I can't be sure how much she believed me when I told her, but by some miracle I didn't feel that turning to pornography in the midst of my pain was something I "had" to do. In the past I would have made a day of it. This is one of the longest (if not the longest) periods of sexual sobriety I have had since I can remember. To not have the (what seems to be) unstoppable passion to act on my lust is so different. And wonderful.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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rom517mm
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Posted: Mon Mar 3rd, 2008 11:18 pm |
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| Thankfully, despite my mini-meltdown (frustration over still being out of work), I didn't pursue lust. Times like these are commonly my downfall, but by God's grace I'm not seeking to use lust to make me forget my problems. I guess it's because for once I'm realizing that doing so will only exacerbate the problem.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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rom517mm
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Posted: Wed Mar 12th, 2008 07:25 pm |
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OK, so it's been a while since I "reported in." By God's grace I'm still not pursuing lust. My wife and I had not made love for a few weeks. Either I wasn't feeling well or she wasn't or one of us was tired or something hurt...and so on. I had recently wondered whether my previous lovemaking sessions with my wife were truly intimate, or was I taking more than giving? So maybe not being able to be sexual with her for a few weeks helped me to see just where my sexuality was at. I was feeling impulses, but not indulging them. And when my wife and I did join together, I felt such a closeness to her.
____________________
"Since by the one man's trespass, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive the overflow of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ." (Rom. 5:17)
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