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isolated
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Posted: Fri Nov 18th, 2005 05:08 pm |
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most church's do not keep in touch with visiters and do not chack to see how they
are doing when they do not see them , and to me that is not how it is saposed
to be
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Billyeah
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Posted: Sat Nov 19th, 2005 04:48 pm |
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| To say most churches would be a bit of a generalization I would think. But I know what you mean. I have started attending a different church and have gone for 5 weeks now and have not had any kind of encouragment or welcome, other than when we are there on Sunday. I think if you see someone new in your church you should welcome them and ask them what brought them to your church in the first place.
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captivated
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Posted: Thu Nov 24th, 2005 05:34 pm |
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Hey guys, maybe when you are settled in your churches, you'll have a special role to play in welcoming newcomers since you'll already have this compassion for them.  I think it's hard sometimes for people to know who is visiting because our culture has become so transient with people coming and going, moving all around the country....especially in larger churches, it's hard to know who is new, etc....  Try approaching this experience with the mindset that you are looking to truly find connection in a church through it's small group ministry. Many churches are realizing that this is the place where we can truly be "family" to one another in the body, which is what I sense you are both looking for. Sundays are a good time to evaluate what the church is teaching, etc.....but I'd encourage people to pursue a small group within the church to find those deeper connections. 
Blessings in your pursuit!
captivated
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RTK
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Posted: Thu Nov 24th, 2005 11:02 pm |
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Captivated,
Thanks for jumping in on this topic. Several points should be made here 1)The Church is not brick and mortar. The Church is His body. 2)We only spend one hour (sometimes longer) at that building a week. 3) When we attend that building for services, we are there to worship the Lord - we should not go with the attitude of what is in it for me. - Unless I am mistaken, our attitude going to worship, should be that of what can I give, not what can I receive.
Small groups is how the Church started out. It is through small groups that the Body can meet the needs of the members. It is also through His Spirit that the Church grows and thrives. However, because the Church is made up of people like you and me, sometimes it wall fall far short because of our human frailties, busyness, selfishness, sin, etc. Billyeah and Isolated can give a witness to some of this. Echoing what you said, smaller groups are where deeper needs will be met.
RTK
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isolated
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Posted: Tue Nov 29th, 2005 03:23 pm |
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| thank you billyeah , captivated ,and rtk my wife and I moved to missouri a year and a half ago and we are at our third church now , the first one we went to seemed preaty good and yes they had small groups and we went in fact it was at the pastors house and our little girl was involed on wedensday nights in missionnetts while we were in the service but than flew season hit and we missed a couple of weeks and something else came up and we missed a couple more weeks and no one called to see if we were ok or why we hade't been coming and this church is about 100 people tops on sundays hey we switched church's and after 3 months we get a card in the mail from that church that says we miss you and to me that is not the church god intended I called the pastor on the phone about this and he told me people sometime get offiended by calls , but to me to not call shows me how much you care about me the church we are in now Im not sure about either we field out a vistors card about a mounth ago but no response yet and this church does not have small groups beleive me Im trying to get to know people out here and yes I go to church to worship and grow , but I would like to know my brothers and sisters also basicly I just feel the church is not steping up to the plate when it comes to getting to know new people like my family and we all need to pray that this changes God Bless
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johnny
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Posted: Sat Apr 21st, 2007 05:02 pm |
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Sorry to hear your bad experience with church. I had similar bad experiences with churches in the past. Now that I am a member of a church I try to make an effort to speak to those I don't recognize. My advice. try other churhes. and please dont' be mad at God for the mistakes of a few church people. We are representatives of God and some times we dont' do a good job. We're human. sometimes I get frustrated with people when I say hi and they aren't friendly. what I fail to remember often times is to give them grace. Myabe they're having a bad day or they don't feel well. Anyway i hope you find a loving boday of God. I will pray for you in this reguard.
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sirvolker
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Posted: Fri May 11th, 2007 03:20 pm |
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isolated wrote: most church's do not keep in touch with visiters and do not chack to see how they
are doing when they do not see them , and to me that is not how it is saposed
to be
i truly understand where you are coming from but that is why i make a point to get to know the vistors that come to my single group, i try to call the vistors some time through the week to see how they are doing and invite them to pcoming events our singles group. but i also show them respect if they don't want to come to the events or don't want to be bother or not to come back. i'll let them know that there always welcome if they want to come back.
____________________
PHILIPPIANS 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strenght"(NIV)
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love&hate
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Posted: Fri Jun 15th, 2007 05:59 am |
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I am an isolated single guy that is shy and has an anxiety disorder. I have found it very difficult to go to church. When i did some churches seemed like they were just social clubs, to chat and find someone that you know to go to lunch with. Others are just very cold and distant. Either way i was usually ignored.
It has really struck me how we are the church and are the body of Christ which means so many things including reaching out. I would like to be less shy so i can reach out to others who are also feeling as invisible as i am. My personal feeling is churches are really failing in this area, should we not yearn for others to be saved and our brothers and sisters? Then why ignore them when they come to church?
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sirvolker
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Posted: Fri Jun 15th, 2007 02:32 pm |
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dear love&hate,
i truly understand where you are coming from, i use to be and isolated and extremly shy add the fact that i have abandament and ADHD issue on top of that, i was a living mess.
i use to go to churches where they gave me the cold shoulder or it was one big get together. i always yearn to be part of the group and make friends to the point every one i would meet i would try to cling to them and change to what i thought they would like.
Then God lead me to the church where i go now, they have welcome me since day one. But it took me lots of time and God's help to get to know people, i went to a few Bible studies and singles event, and let people get to know me. it's frustrating at times but give it time and you'll make true friends i also sat back and watch how people would interact with each other.
A good friend taught me one thing about being more socialable in life. He taught me to enjoy life ( not being an isolated) by my self, find activity and hobies that i enjoy doing and found other people that enjoy the same actives. i also still enjoy doing thing on my own as well.
i've also learn that being shy is being afraid of making a mistake in front of new people and not being accepted for who you are.
Just let God lead you to a good church and let God do the rest.
____________________
PHILIPPIANS 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strenght"(NIV)
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truthseeker
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Posted: Fri Jun 15th, 2007 02:55 pm |
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Hi sirvolker,
I think that you make an excellent point here. In a way, isn't being "shy" just rejecting others before they can reject you? A defense mechanism? I have never had patience for the social games people play, so I do not hide who I am from the first time I meet someone. That way they can decide whether or not they wish to get to know me better. If they don't, I move on. You may have to "kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince," meet a lot of people before finding a couple of really good friends, but they will be genuine friends, not casual acquaintances. Yes, the body is to love all of its own, but I can love someone with Christ's love, and they me, but if we have nothing more in common than Christ, deep friendship is unlikely. Praise God that Jesus never rejects me, no matter how many humans do.
TruthSeeker
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