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nbmorelock
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 22nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Beaumont, Texas USA |
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Posted: Sat Oct 27th, 2007 04:53 pm |
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| I have suffered with porn and masterbation addiction since I was about 11 years old, I am now 25. I am now married with two boys of my own and need help overcoming this addiction so it doesn't pass to my children. I am new to websites like this one and have never done a forum before, so it anyone can help me and explain how some things work please let me know. Thank you in advance. Bryan Morelock
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Bryan Morelock
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guitarist63
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| Joined: | Mon Feb 12th, 2007 |
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Posted: Sat Oct 27th, 2007 06:24 pm |
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Welcome, Bryan.
You will find regular posters here will help you and respond.
Last edited on Sun Oct 28th, 2007 12:15 am by guitarist63
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truthseeker
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| Joined: | Tue May 16th, 2006 |
| Location: | New Jersey USA |
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Posted: Sun Oct 28th, 2007 04:00 am |
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Hi Bryan,
Welcome to BG. I'm sure that your wife is relieved that you have chosen to take this seriously, and put your family above SA. To get to the point of drawing that boundary is scary, because we as wives cannot know for certain which the husband will choose.
You seem to have figured out posting just fine. If you have any other specific questions, don't hesitate to ask.
I am commenting here about your accountability partner, since, as a moderator, I do read the daily accountability thread, I virtually never comment there, and noone there had commented on your concern.
Ideally, an accountability partner will be significantly further along the road of recovery than you are, seeking to give support and direction, rather than receive it. Yes, it is also the point to ask one another about temptations and lapses, (hopefully of which there are few or none.) There is probably, on one level, no harm in listening to the anguish of his lost marriage, as, hopefully, it will remind you of what you do not want to lose, though that does seem to be in the forefront of your mind at the moment, and it's good to keep it there. In time, hopefully, you will be so enraptured with a new and vibrant relationship with your wife and boys that it is joy that drives the relationship, not fear of its loss. If you are able to locate an additional accountability partner, the variation in perspective is likely to be helpful.
Please be sure that through reading, deep reflection on your past, and even counselling, that you get to the root of the addiction, what void it has filled, what pain it has numbed, because without healing from those things it will be much harder to disconnect from the addictive pattern.
Something you should be clear with your wife about is how much she wants to know about the daily ins and outs of your recovery. Some are fine with fewer details, leaving that for your accountability partner, but some see scant information as not being fully honest. Most, not necessarily all, of us wives, while we are anxious about our husband falling, are much more distressed if it happens and is not confessed, worse yet lied about, leaving us to have to confront again with evidence.
Praying for you...
TruthSeeker
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nbmorelock
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 22nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Beaumont, Texas USA |
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Posted: Wed Nov 14th, 2007 01:37 am |
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| I have fallen. This battle seems to never end. Does the devil ever take time off? My wife basically said the only reason she isn't going to leave me is cause she doesn't have a job, or a place to go. Thank God for that I guess. ttyl. Bryan
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Bryan Morelock
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Seeking God
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| Joined: | Wed Aug 15th, 2007 |
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Posted: Wed Nov 14th, 2007 03:06 am |
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Hi Bryan, sorry to hear you fallen,
I'm reminded of a passage that I want to share with you
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Be sober-minded; be watchful.
Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1Pe 5:6-11)
Have courage brother, let's resist devil together in the the Lord.
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nbmorelock
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| Joined: | Mon Oct 22nd, 2007 |
| Location: | Beaumont, Texas USA |
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Posted: Thu Nov 15th, 2007 12:02 am |
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| Thank you very much, you have no idea what it means to me. I hope you never have to encourage me in this way again. Again thank you. Bryan
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Bryan Morelock
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TimM
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| Joined: | Thu Jul 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
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Posted: Thu Nov 15th, 2007 12:48 am |
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Bryan,
Good for you being willing to come here and be open about the failure!
What can you learn from the slip? You say you hope never again to have to come here and make this confession, and all of us here know how seriously you mean that. If I may dare to ask a somewhat challenging question, what are you now going to do differently in your recovery so that next time the result will be different?
I ask this as someone who spent 3 decades doing the same thing, hoping for a different result, and - big surprise! - not getting one.
Tim M.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Nov 15th, 2007 01:15 am |
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Nbmorelock, you're doing the right thing to confess your sin here where you will receive support and prayers from others who have traveled down the same road you're on.
Keep turning to the Lord and never give up, no matter how many obstacles cross your path along the road to freedom.
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hans45
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| Joined: | Mon Jan 14th, 2008 |
| Location: | Dallas, Texas USA |
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Posted: Tue Jan 15th, 2008 10:16 pm |
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| Hi Bryan. I'm new here. I'm not new to using porn. I don't feel like I'm one to be giving advice in this area, but I can assure you the longer a person lets it go on the more difficult it is to control. You're still relativly young but wise to seek help. I'm 62 yrs. old and it's had me under control for 45 years. I'm trying with Gods help to stop this insanity. I will be praying for you tonight and your wife and boys. God bless you and always trust in Jesus.
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