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spe102580
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Posted: Mon Jul 9th, 2007 11:45 pm |
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I had a hard week after three weeks off of this crap.
On Monday I looked at bad websites and got caught because my covenant eyes partner got an email about my activity.
Also, I snuck onto my moms computer 3 times last week at night, downloaded dvds and put them onto my computer, since mine is on CE. I went on the AOL guest feature so that my activity won't be recorded. How do I beat that temptation?
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Steve
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| Joined: | Tue May 3rd, 2005 |
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Posted: Tue Jul 10th, 2007 03:43 pm |
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spe102580 wrote:How do I beat that temptation?
I'm so sorry about your experience.
First things first, are you in a growth/accountability group? If not, that's my first recommendation. You must have people in your real life whom you are in contact regularly with where they know the extent of your addiction.
What do you think?
-Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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jladilaz
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 02:37 am |
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Steve,
My question is how do you find those people that you can trust? One of my good friends, a neighbor says he's a Christian, I woundn't tell him anything. At church, a big church here outside of Denver, I know a few men but none that I could share my struggles with. I keep reading about isolation on a lot of posts and it seems that that's one of our biggest enemies. Satan doesn't have to do anything, just sits back and let's us be alone with our shame.
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TimM
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| Joined: | Thu Jul 5th, 2007 |
| Location: | Rural Midwest, USA |
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 03:46 am |
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I've found people I can trust in 12-step meetings for sex addicts, both on-line and in my area. Other sorts of support groups also exist, sometimes based at churches. I've also found professional counselors, members of my family, and a few friends.
Of course all this is scary. Calling a counselor or calling a church to ask if they have support groups for those struggling with porn or walking into a meeting for the first time and saying, "Hi, I'm Tim, and I'm a sex addict," are not easy things. Finding good ways to disclose my history to my wife was not an easy thing. But as my SLAA sponsor says, "How free do you want to be?"
To me at this point in my recovery, it's nice that I'm currently sexually sober. What really matters to me, though, is that I have a relationship with God, with myself, and with other people that I never had before - that I am not a captive of shame and isolation.
At all this, I'm still very much a beginner. I'm slowly learning things I never learned 40 or 50 years ago. Even the first steps, though, are a huge blessing.
Tim M.
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Steve
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Posted: Wed Jul 11th, 2007 09:52 pm |
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Jladilaz, my suggestion to you is to see a counselor who specializes in sex/porn addiciton in your area. If he is a good counselor, he will know of effective and safe groups that happen regularly.
There are many decent counselors in the Denver area too, so I encourage you to take that big step. (There are also plenty of really great groups that I personally know of in the Colorado Springs area as well. E-mail for specifics on those.)
-Steve
Last edited on Wed Jul 11th, 2007 09:53 pm by Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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Steve
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Posted: Fri Jul 13th, 2007 05:41 pm |
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Sep102580, how are you doing?
I don't mean to "nag" you, but I'm really interested in reading your thoughts to my questions in my reply to you. (Reply #1) Friend, I can't tell you how important it is to cross the line into being part of a recovery community.
-Steve
____________________
"Isolation is bad for any man, but for the sexual addict it is fatal." -Russell Willingham
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spe102580
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Posted: Fri Jul 13th, 2007 07:30 pm |
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| I am in an accountability group that meets once per week. I started going again recently after a long delay. Also, I have a covenant eyes partner, which is the reson I got caught. I meet witha counselor once a month.
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