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forlorn
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Posted: Mon May 14th, 2007 10:15 pm |
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Hey guys,
I don't even know what to say. I want to post but I don't have time for long introductions. I'm 19, I've been struggling with masturbating since I was about ten and I want to stop. I did kind of give up because it seemed hopeless but when my girlfriends heart broke after I told her I felt like the worst man alive.
So, I want to hit it with all I've got. No chances. Well that's what I said innitially but after about a week I failed again and felt so bad I wanted to throw up. I called my christian mentor type person in my life and we talked about it. I've failed since then and I haven't talked to him in a while.
So here's my idea so far. I"m going to use this post as a kind of log and whenver I fail, since i"m on this computer anyways, I'll post it. When that happens, I need someone to hold me accountable to call this mentor type person, call him Yoda.
Now I also want a number of people to hold me accountable. Since I haven't talked to Yoda in a while and because we're both busy, we wont always be able to talk. So I want to set up other people in my life so that even though I wont talk to one specific person on a regular basis, I'll at least run into a few others on a regular basis. So! I have two other people I've been meaning to call for weeks but haven't. I need someone to make sure I call at least one of them by Wednesday, and the second one by at least Saturday. How about we give them names, eh? Let's see... How about Master Chief, and Gumbie.
Alright, so whenever I mess up I'm posting and you guys need to make sure I call either Yoda, Master Chief or Gumbie.
I've been meaning to post this for a while but haven't had the time to make it an organized message; after I messed up a few minutes ago I decided why wait? I was actually doing really well, I hadn't messed up for about four days before this, which is super good news!!!
Checklist:
-Call Either Master Chief or Gumbie by Wednesday
-Call Either Master Chief or Gumbie by Saturday
Gotta run, sorry this was such a fast post. If any of you guys would like to help me out I was be soooo stoaked and super blessed! I need all the help I can get. God bless you guys and may He strengthen you in your walk. If any of you want to tag up and try and help each other out, let me know.
God is a God of healing though it may seem impossible.
Faith.
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forlorn
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Posted: Mon May 14th, 2007 10:15 pm |
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"We tend to make courage too dramatic. Courage is often doing
something simple, unpleasant, or boring again and again until we get
it down pat. People who are physically challenged and who have the
determination to get around their handicaps are great examples because
their courage makes them test their limits everyday"
Dave Thomas.
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forlorn
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Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 04:22 am |
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Uhhgg... I hate being sick. I find that whenever I masturbate it's when I'm at home laying around when I don't have any classes, appointments or when I have to work. I'm sick right now so I thought I'd lay down and play a computer game. While I was playing a thought popped into my mind, a bad one, and then my hormones kind of kicked in, but I decided to ignore it and keep playing the game, knowing it was still there. Sure enough, when I quit the game I messed up. Two times in one day... not good. I don't want to get trapped into this again. I'm excited because it's been a few days since my last failure, but the fight is far from over. I can't help but feel hopeless at times.
I'm going to go read my bible.
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geeky_student
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Posted: Tue May 15th, 2007 05:26 am |
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great! reading the bible is good, God's word is a double-edged sword, and it calms you down. Very good idea. Praise God!
wow... i play video games too and guess what? its usually a gateway to me sinning.
thats is when i play when i am not supposed to.
this is one of the things i struggle with also, by the way, remember in the bible when David sinned with Bathsheba, remember what he was doing? or actually, not doing. He was not at war like the other kings, he was not fighting with his soldiers, he was at home enjoying while others were out there fighting. Self-centered ness can lead to acting out on lust (selfish).
Hmm.. i have an idea, though it doesnt necessarily sound fun. If you are playing when you are not supposed to, would it help if you try to stay away from games and try tackle your academics more? not saying that you should not have fun in your life. Perhaps you can call her when you are bored? Actually, a question: hope you don't mind, i am not trying to be nosy, did your girlfriend tell you anything like she will help you through this, in fact, did you tell her that you are trying to sacrifice this selfish want for her? It's good for her to know that her boyfriend is willing to sacrifice this for her, after all, you are supposed to protect her--yes even from you selfish wants.
do remember: God above all else. we are nothing without Him.
God bless! abide in Him! and let Him abide in you.
i will continue praying for you guys
keep clean
____________________
For God, for her, for my parents, for own good.
tip: when tempted, think of God, think of that special someone you love. 
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