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mike
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Posted: Thu May 5th, 2005 11:48 am |
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Tell us here how you are doing with lust today. Share any struggles with lust in the heart, porn, masturbation, or promiscuity. The more we hold onto lust the greater it's hold on us. Bringing our struggles into the light and grace of others is how we do away with shame.
By God's grace I am doing fine with lust today; no issues with porn or masturbation.
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Thu May 5th, 2005 06:44 pm |
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Hey Otnemem -
There are a number of causes of sexually charged dreams:
If a person is engaging in porn or lust often that sexually charged dreams can come simply from the "saturation of lust in the flesh" that takes place. If a man is running sexual fantasy through his mind during the day then this spiritual sewage can filter into his sleep. In this case, if a man is having consistent dreams with lust then it's a reflection of what he doing while awake.
If a man has been clean from lust, he can be attacked spiritually through his dreams. The Lord set me free from lust in 1999, and every once in a great while I'll dream that I went back to sexual sin and acted out. The dream will be vivid and I can wake up feeling just as guilty as if I'd sinned. In these cases I just remember the truth (that I want nothing to do with lust, I haven't acted out and it was more than likely a spiritual taunt,) and move on.
If my wife and I drift too far apart emotionally and physically, I can get hit with a lustful dream. When we allow our marriages to disconnect we open ourselves up to spiritual temptation or influence. This is why it's important to stay close to our wives emotionally and sexually. The same goes true if I drift away from God.
In short, I think that dreams can be a gage of where we may be spiritually, (such as in our marriage or in our walk with God) and they can be caused by spiritual influence. And of course, there is also the chemical component of our human side that we never understand. If the Lord shows you an area of your life that might have been a catalyst for the dream, then just deal with it and move on. If not, don't let the forces of darkness attack you with false guilt. This is one of Satan's strategies - to get us to think we've sinned so that we fall into despair - and then we buy into his lie and stumble into a binge of sin.
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deaconJones
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Posted: Thu May 5th, 2005 08:48 pm |
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Lo all,
I can say that today is a great day because I have been blessed with finding this great forum. I have been part of many forums (most of which were not becoming of christians) and I must say that I am very happy to be a part of this group. I hope to share with you my struggles and triumphs and hopefully help others along the way!
No issues with porn or masturbation today. Last week I totally wiped my hard drive in order to remove all porn off of my pc. I needed to take a drastic measure like that in order to start fresh. Would love to keep you all updated on my status and hope others will do the same.
Peace all!
____________________
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!
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Robert
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Posted: Thu May 5th, 2005 10:37 pm |
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Hey there, Rob here. I like the forum situation to give daily accountability. By the grace of God, I haven't had any problems with porn or masturbation today. I feel a little weird right now though. I've been under a lot of pressure with finals, work schedule, etc. I think I need to exercise to blow off some steam and then get some rest.
Otnemem760, I relate. I've had dreams like that in the past and I feel defiled afterwards, even though I was unconcious. Don't let it get you down...don't give in. Just thank God for His grace and move on. I've noticed in the past if I dwell on it too much, I end up in trouble. Peace.
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Fri May 6th, 2005 03:25 pm |
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Hey deaconJones -
Glad to see you went radical and wiped your hard drive clean. It's kill or be killed in this battle, and there's no neutral zone.
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Fri May 6th, 2005 04:55 pm |
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Hi Otnemem -
I deleted the quicktime pic because my QT player wasn't able to play it (and the software is updated). If I can't view it I have to delete it as I don't want anything posted on this website that might be a problem. Not saying you would do something like this intentionally, but if I can't read it I don't know what it is.
Thank you for sharing your struggles with us - it shows us how to pray for you.
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deaconJones
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Posted: Sun May 8th, 2005 12:26 am |
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mike wrote: Hey deaconJones -
Glad to see you went radical and wiped your hard drive clean. It's kill or be killed in this battle, and there's no neutral zone.
Thanks for the encouragement Mike. I need it. Today was a struggle so I'm glad the Lord brought me back to this forum just to take a look at who's here. Just reading these comments is helping me and I hope and pray that when the urges come I can log onto this forum and get some strength from you all here.
I spent the day with one of my longtime buddies from church today and we went over to the mall. Man I need to stay away from there (unless I'm with my wife and kids). Spring time is here if you know what I mean. I remember our pastor telling the men of our congreagation about something called the 3 second rule. If you look at someone for more than 3 seconds ... it can quickly turn to lust. Well this is a problem of mine that I will need your help on. All that porn that was stored on my hard drive unfortunately is still in my mind and I need to wipe that too! Keep me in your prayers that I may not let this be a problem and continue to focus on doing God's will.
I may have to write a blurb every day or so just to keep me focused.
Thanks in advance!
____________________
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Sun May 8th, 2005 01:44 pm |
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>Man I need to stay away from there (unless I'm with my wife and kids). Spring time is here if you know what I mean.
I'm with you. Even when it's not spring time young women dress to get the wrong kind of attention, and the malls are filled with young girls flaunting it. Keeps me praying a lot when I'm there !
>I remember our pastor telling the men of our congreagation about something called the 3 second rule. If you look at someone for more than 3 seconds ... it can quickly turn to lust.
I think the 3 second rule is misguided because I don't need 3 seconds to undress a woman in my mind. It's like telling an alcoholic he can have one drink of beer but then must stop. In general, I avoid letting my eyes lock onto a woman's form. We will see pretty women in the daily course of life, but seeing and looking with an intent to lust are 2 different things. If I let myself graze over another woman's body, (and especially, linger over certain areas) it's over; my mind goes into the toilet. When it comes to looking, the intent is more important than the duration.
Dealing with looking is written about in
http://www.blazinggrace.org/warinthemind.htm
which mentions that our hunger is for God, (broken women will never fill our God hunger) and that we need to connect with Him when tempted to lust.
>I may have to write a blurb every day or so just to keep me focused.
I encourage you to do so. The more we are transparent with our struggles the less power it has over us. I'm grateful for your honesty.
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Sun May 8th, 2005 03:47 pm |
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I was checking email today, and an email came through with a word in the header that showed it was spam with sexual content. I knew immediately it needed to be deleted, scrolled down to it and hit the delete key. In the split second that I was deleting the message I felt a fierce pull inside to look at what I was deleting; I did, and in the portion of the viewer that was open saw there was a text message.
My preference is that I would have deleted the email while having my head turned the away so I saw nothing of what I deleted. From time to time I still get glimpses of my broken flesh that would like to go where it should not; I wanted to share this because sometimes we have the false perception that once someone is a Christian leader of some sort that they "have arrived" and are now "The holy ones who no longer struggle with sin". By God's grace and power, and the support of others, I will not feed my flesh, but the battle with it will be there until the day I die.
We are all broken, and in daily need of God's grace. The Blazing Grace ministry is about pointing others to God and His grace, not about glorifying man.
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deaconJones
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Posted: Mon May 9th, 2005 11:53 am |
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mike wrote:
Dealing with looking is written about in
http://www.blazinggrace.org/warinthemind.htm
Great article Mike. Here is a quote from the article that I need to work on.
When it comes to other women I keep my eyes locked on their face when I talk with them. I may notice their figure in my field of vision, but I don’t let my eyes “drop, lock and roll”.
That is deep for me cause I notice their figure and then catch myself glancing down. This is a problem that must be stopped.
I also like the idea of the guilt trip approach the devil plays on us. Knowledge of these tools will help me in my daily walk and so will the prayers of the righteous...so keep praying for me guys as I will keep praying for you!
____________________
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me!
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GMAN
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Posted: Tue May 10th, 2005 01:25 am |
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Hey Mike,
Great Forum. The response looks great. I bet it explodes! This week I had a wet dream for the first time in many years. It kind of took me by surprise and much like otnemem760 I had some initial guilt. However, I realized quickly that this was a spiritual attack. I have not acted out in about two months and while I've struggled with lust I have been pretty good at stopping it in a fair amount of time and exploring the deeper emotional issues with God. Since I am so concious of my struggle, the enemy decided to attack me while I wasn't concious. God showed me that I still have a lot of junk to work through and that was why I was so open to attack. Otherwise it was a great week.
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Tue May 10th, 2005 03:43 pm |
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Hey GMAN -
Welcome to the boards. It's good that you're looking at the heart issues; dealing with the external acts is just the beginning of the battle. It sounds like you have good awarenes of what's going on; do you have others who you've been able to be accountable with ?
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Providence
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Posted: Tue May 10th, 2005 04:12 pm |
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Hello Everyone,
I have chosen to use the SN "Providence" because of two definitions of the word: 1) care or preparation in advance; foresight. 2) The care, guardianship, and control exercised by a deity; divine direction. To beat this, we all need to see what is happening to us and stop the harmful cycle before it starts, and we all need care and guardianship from God. I used to masturbate daily for years, and I still slip every couple of weeks. I'm more than willing to help with breaking down the daily habit, so just post a message and I'll give you pointers. I still need help, though, with figuring out how to completely shut the whole thing down (as I mentioned, I still slip up every couple of weeks/ months). I've been fighting this for almost two full years, and I need support to finish beating this. I owe this to my God and my girlfriend.
Concerning wet dreams, I don't think they're something to worry about. God created the body, and the body has needs. He willed it to have needs. The body needs to rid itself of excess semen (because our testes are always producing new sperm, and that sperm needs a place to go), just like bladders need to be emptied of urine. It means that you have stopped masturbating and allowed your body to take its own natural course, as God wills it, to rid itself of that excess semen (sex with your spouse will also stop wet dreams, and is a positive choice that God likes us to make). However, if you have them frequently, be cautious of what you think during the day. I'm a psychology/ pre-medicine major, so I know about biology and human thoughts. I do remember, however, that no matter how great science may become, God will always be infinitely greater.
I hope to be actively fighting this with all of you. As I said earlier, I'm still making mistakes. I'm making improvements, but no road, including the one to recovery, is perfect.
Rock on, peace out, God bless!!!
____________________
Faith is important because it was immeasurable.
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GMAN
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Posted: Tue May 10th, 2005 04:24 pm |
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Yes. You every monday night!
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mike
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Posted: Tue May 10th, 2005 06:53 pm |
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Hi Providence -
Welcome to the boards. Information on dealing with masturbation is available at http://www.blazinggrace.org/masturbation.htm
Where you live do you have others who you are able to be accountable with ? I ask to understand if you're trying to wing it on your own or if you other brothers who support you in this battle. Hopefully you will find some support here.
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Providence
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Posted: Wed May 11th, 2005 03:04 am |
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Mike-
I've recently e-mailed you, and I'll see you Monday night. I don't know if I should say my name on the forum, but it will be said on Monday night. I'm new to this whole thing, so I don't know quite what should be said.
____________________
Faith is important because it was immeasurable.
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GMAN
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Posted: Fri May 20th, 2005 02:34 pm |
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| My work computer crashed last week. It is in the shop and they gave me a replacement today. Two months ago I put Covenant Eyes on the work computer and had it post to a coworker and my wife. Although I have not acted out in almost two months, I want to remove as much temptation as possible. I could feel the lie creep into my head that I was doing okay and did not need accountability anymore. We all know who the father of lies is. As soon as I booted this new computer I had my coworker install Covenant Eyes. It feels "safe" now to get back online.
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metatauta
Member
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Posted: Fri May 20th, 2005 11:04 pm |
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Idleness is the devil's greatest opening. At least in my life it is. Having moved to a new big city, I'm jobless (and looking but not succeeding) and have no social life (extreme introvert). Not a good mix . Either way I struggle greatly with acting out, now even more so that I have nothing else to keep me busy and out of sin. Just keep me in your prayers guys, Lord knows we all need prayer.
(daily dose of hope)Hebrews 4:14-15
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mike
Administrator
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Posted: Sat May 21st, 2005 04:01 pm |
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Hi Metatauta -
Thanks for posting; I appreciate your honesty. Isolation is death in this game, and the battle is twice as hard for those who introverts. I hope and pray that you are able to make connections at a local church that'll help take the edge off the isolation.
These boards can help some, but we all need "grace with skin on", as I've heard Chuck Swindoll say. I say this to encourage you to reach out.
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PaulM
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Posted: Wed Jun 1st, 2005 04:50 am |
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This is a new attempt at a new way to kick this thing.
Failed attempts include:
Formating my hard drive, and of course, falling into it again, several times.
Trying being accountable to a close friend. That sortof drove the two of us apart, until now we don't really talk at all any more.
Trying to cut myself off gradually, masturbating and/or viewing less frequently, but I always lose out.
I think the statistics are the only place I am not a total pathetic wierdo, I didn't start until I was 21, about 2 and a half years ago. I just fell so quickly, it's sometimes hard to accept. I made a promise to G_D that I'd try again, and maybe this will help.
I'll try to do a weekly post through the summer while I'm in the worst possible setup, taking a quarter off school, not found a job yet, and I'm trying to cut back on video games too.
Next week, I will try to remember to talk about how I think I ended up in my own personalized hell.
Paul M.
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