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holdsworth
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 07:23 am |
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| Hey Isolated, I'm single and sometimes get real frustrated with the whole relational thing. Just this week I casually met up with a female friend who I find very attractive, but she is in a relationship..we get on really well.........but, I have to guard my heart from running off with ideas. It would be impossible unless she became a christian and was also single!. Also, Last night, that frustration got the better of me and I started seeking out (going out of my way to find sensual images to try and aleviate the loneliness), but didn't follow through physically, because I realised again that going to visual things does not satisfy or solve anything!!!!, although the pull was very, very strong, I pulled out and prayed instead. Hang in there, keep going. We all need to make wise decisions, and that wisdon can only come from the one that made us and in the struggles we face in life. Last edited on Fri Dec 9th, 2005 07:23 am by holdsworth
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isolated
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 02:04 pm |
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hey holdsworth Im married, and I want to stay faithful, and I know that if that turkey can't get me to lust on the computer or tv than he is going to try something else, and anyway I was tempted and I prayed just as I asked you guys to, but I just felt I should ask for prayer in this instance, and as far as being single gos I don't envy you I know its hard , so let me share with you! I'm married , but not by choice my lust had got the best of me, I was a christian who knew a girl that wanted to be with me, so I had sex with her a few times and than stopped. repented did not see her any more and than I got the phone call saying I'm pregnet , hey I did not want to be with this girl ,so I stooped so low, to talk to her about getting an abortion and she went to a clinic to have it done, but the doctor said she had an irregular heart beat and she would have to be o-ked by another doctor first , so that along with being a christian herslf was enough to change her mind ,so to make a long story short she had the baby and I married her about 6 mo's later to be with my little girl who is now 6 and a half ,who I love with all my heart, and my wife, is not someone I would of picked as my mate, but she is a christian ,and God is with us, so I pray you will guard your heart and your mind and enjoy your freedom in singleness with Jesus as the center of your focus draw close to God and he will draw close to you hey I feel good just typing this, have a blessed day brother holdsworth Last edited on Fri Dec 9th, 2005 02:07 pm by
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holdsworth
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 03:15 pm |
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| Thanks for telling it like it is Isolated. I suppose because I have not experienced marriage I only really see things from a single persons perspective. I have never let any woman close enough to develop that kind of relationship.. too scared of getting hurt!. Bless Y' Isolated I will pray for you, your wife and your daughter. Even though I am really, really struggling with loads of temptations myself, I hope my praying for you is O.K
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isolated
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 06:29 pm |
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| hey holdsworth it is more than ok! and thanks! I'm at a point now that in sharing ,reading ,and listioning to Christian music,and also watching movies, yes thats right,watching movies but going to rent them can be a trial sometimes,if I think a movie will make me lustfull than that movie is not for me, and I pray that is the way it stays anyway I have a lot of time on my hands untill I go back to work I do look for movies with redeeming qualitys and hey I know what it is to be isolated ,and feel rejected ,but we have to give that stuff to the Lord and he will take care of it talk to you later brother
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captivated
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 06:30 pm |
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This may sound like a broken record since I'm not saying much more, but I did want you guys to know you'd been prayed for! Praying for protection over the weekend as well!
Blessings in Jesus!
Captivated 
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isolated
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Posted: Fri Dec 9th, 2005 07:44 pm |
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| thanks captivated, your prayers are wecome, your a good sister!
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Carli
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Posted: Sat Dec 10th, 2005 07:24 am |
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Just wanted to let you know you're in my prayers too. I've been feeling more at peace recently and your honesty, openess and faith has really helped. So thank you.
Just remember our strength is in the Lord...that's a pretty awesome source of strength!
Carlix
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captivated
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Posted: Sat Dec 10th, 2005 10:52 am |
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Amen to that! Glad to hear from you Carli and that you are doing so well right now! Appreciate your openness and honesty and faith as well here!
Blessings!
captivated
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isolated
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Posted: Sat Dec 10th, 2005 02:12 pm |
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| thanks carli your prayers are also appreciated, and prayers ,and blessing back to you!
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holdsworth
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Posted: Mon Dec 12th, 2005 06:59 am |
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| Hi again. Monday morning where I am. Still waking up with images in my head from years of puttin the stuff in! This is well documented in most books about lust and porn habits/addictions etc, etc. I really want to be trusting God and also when I am feeling low, or challenged. Going to the images again is no answer, Jesus reasures me that he is the only place where I might know go that will satisfy the deepest longings of my soul. Bless You all for steppin out'. It is an encouragement.Carli, Glad you have known Peace, The only times I have really know that peace was when I was walking in freedom from habitual sin. (I fell back)
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holdsworth
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Posted: Mon Dec 12th, 2005 11:22 am |
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| since posting the above,I have looked at some things again that, I shouldn't have (naked images of women). It was such a great weekend too!!!!. visisted a different church while away and it was good, found a block in my being able to fully worship though.....feel like getting really angry, and feel very stupid.Gonna keep reading 'breaking free', praying and reading the word.......and being honest.
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matt
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Posted: Mon Dec 12th, 2005 01:53 pm |
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daily (almost)
I haven't checked in since last week, but here goes. I stumbled a bit on Friday by looking at several pictures on the internet that I shouldn't have. While they weren't pornographic, they were definitely used for endorphine release and I know that these types of images lead me deeper back into the addiction. So far, I've been able to recover and remain sober, but it has definitely allowed many thoughts back into my mind that I've been able to keep out for the most part.
I had a very connected weekend, and really enjoyed some great relationships that have been built. 3 weeks and counting. I'm trying to focus on making healthy choices and staying connected with other real people.
____________________
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.
-Blaise Pascal
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Carli
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Posted: Mon Dec 12th, 2005 04:31 pm |
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Don't let step backs take you further away from God, I almost gave up on my relationship with God because of the guilt I feel...but HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT. it took me about two years to really believe and respond to that truth.
I'm by no means totally at peace now...I've stumbled in the last few days. I feel so low, but then I know it's when I'm low that I'm most likely to slip. So I pray & let God pick me up- I don't want to fall back into the trap of wallowing in my guilt, it's a dangerous place to be because it generally means I'm hiding away from God.
guilt is helpful to a certain extent, when it's a clear signal that what we're doing doesn't please God. But personally I know it can be damaging when it becomes a barrier between me and God.
Carlix
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captivated
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Posted: Mon Dec 12th, 2005 06:00 pm |
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What you said is so good, Carli! It's what I was thinking earlier when I read what the guys had written, but I didn't put it into words as you did. Someone once told me that when it's guilt which leads to righteousness and restoration, it's healthy.....we repent....change.....and receive His love for us. When it's harsh and condemning, we can recognize it as the voice of the enemy who wants us to believe we can out sin God's grace and keep us in this place of despair. As a parent, I think of my children. No matter how big they sin, they are still mine....and their attitudes of pride vs humble recognition of their "sin" often determines how I deal with them. Anyone here is here because you are seeking God....and freedom and if married, to honor your spouses. So, I'd say, you are all seeking to humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and man! Press on towards the prize and shake off that false guilt! Ask God to help you discern the difference and ask the Spirit to wash your hearts, to bring restoration and to fill you with His power to overcome, in Jesus' Name. His name is powerful! Keep pursuing His face and expect He'll meet you and fill you and love you in the process.....as your Father and Beloved!
Blessings and prayers in Jesus to each one of you!
captivated
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holdsworth
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Posted: Mon Dec 12th, 2005 06:06 pm |
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| Bless you Carli and Captivated for what you just wrote. Captivated, that was especially encouraging. I thought about this forum over the weekend. It is so good to share this stuff.
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holdsworth
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Posted: Mon Dec 12th, 2005 07:09 pm |
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| Hi Matt..."I stumbled a bit on Friday by looking at several pictures on the internet that I shouldn't have".....what is amazing is the pull of the desire to look!!!. I know exactly the things that catch me out and get me going, this morning I thought I was fine and then I just had to to go and find something to look at.....then I realised again what I was doing. I'll pray for you the same thing that I am praying for myself, that God helps me trust in him when I desire to numb negative feelings or just act on my plain old lustful thoughts. Last edited on Mon Dec 12th, 2005 07:11 pm by holdsworth
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Is268
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Posted: Tue Dec 13th, 2005 11:22 am |
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Ok, I haven't posted in any posts since last Sat, so I'll just put an update in. I had some problems Sunday - looked at pictures and masturbated - but since then I have been committed to staying pure and by God's grace I have. I am awfully grateful to God for helping me stay pure. Please pray that as I move into this second week of sobreity that I will not be tempted to return to my habits. I have tasted this purity for long enough now that I know how good it is, I definitely believe purity is better than sinful desire. Thanks so much for the prayers that you all pray for me.
Yours in Christ,
Is268
Last edited on Sun Nov 5th, 2006 09:20 am by Is268
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isolated
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Posted: Tue Dec 13th, 2005 02:56 pm |
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| WE ARE IN THE LAST DAYS AND THE ENEMY OF OUR SOUL WANTS TO TAKE US TO HELL, LETS CLEAN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS WITH HIS WORD AND RUN THE RACE SET BEFORE US AND LETS STAY ON THE NARROW ROAD, FOR THE BROAD ROAD LEADS TO DESTRUCTION! YOU BROTHERS ARE IN MY PRAYERS AS I KNOW I'M IN YOURS HAVE A GRATE DAY !
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Billyeah
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Posted: Tue Dec 13th, 2005 03:16 pm |
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Tuesday morning and I am doing really well. I had a bad weekend but I have bounced back this week. I will keep trying to stay on that narrow road.
God Bless
Bill
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matt
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Posted: Tue Dec 13th, 2005 07:57 pm |
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Hi Holdsworth,
Yeah, just the thought that enters my mind about wanting to look at pictures is very powerful. Once that thought enters, if I begin to sort of meditate on it and the possibilities, I'm done. I have to immediately disregard that thought and remember the thousand reasons why I don't want to enjoy those pictures. It has been such a habit in the past, that its a very difficult thing to do. As I get longer periods of sobriety, it is definitely easier, although still not very easy.
____________________
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't.
-Blaise Pascal
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