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dfs
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Posted: Sun Aug 3rd, 2008 08:25 pm |
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Hi everyone,
I've some sad news... after more than 1 year and 4 months of staying away from porn and mastrubation, i fell on August 1... I mastrubated...
Please pray for me...
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sun Aug 3rd, 2008 10:56 pm |
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Sorry to hear your news, dfs. That's a long time. Praise God for that victory of one year and four months. Getting up straight away and getting focused again is how I would deal with this. It must be a great disappointment to you. I'll pray.
I find hard work - honest hard work - is a good way to prevent opportunity or desire to be sinful. Prayer for self is definitely a help and also praying for others. Confession has helped. Accountability that's ongoing has helped. Not looking at women out in the city has helped. Taking stray thoughts to God that suddenly appear so that nothing may become an opportunity for sin.
Today am clear of the habit and am not sure how long it is now since the last. One year and four months free of m I am not! By a long chalk. How did you do it?
Last edited on Sun Aug 3rd, 2008 11:08 pm by guitarist63
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guitarist63
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Posted: Mon Aug 4th, 2008 06:38 pm |
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Back in the miry clay again. About a week since the last but I'd lost count because I've been so busy.
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Paulos
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Posted: Tue Aug 5th, 2008 07:44 pm |
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Hello, Guitarist63.
I note your progress, especially in comparison with, say, two years ago. You have got and stayed free from porn. You have reduced the frequency of m. to less than once a week most of the time, leaning on it only when you have genuine tension (and you are sometimes losing count of the days between). Your energy is directed to healthy pursuits and m. is becoming less of a preoccupation.
Sanctification happens little by little, for good reasons (see Exodus 23:29-30; Judges 3:1-2; the Israelites' conquest of Canaan was an OT type of the Christian life between deliverance and the consummation). It may be more important to God that we stay humble and dependent on him, than that we experience perfect liberty all at once.
Plug on. Get past that "hump" a few times.
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holdsworth
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Posted: Tue Aug 5th, 2008 09:17 pm |
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I feel like giving up!. This evening I spent a lot of waisted time searching out stuff to lust after and I knew full well that it would fill............nothing. I knew all too well it would satisfy......nothing. It would solve nothing, It would answer no questions I have. it would leave me feeling empty and guilty and defeated. So why did I go there?
I am ready to start a fresh but my past and the history of my habit seem to have a vice grip on some deep part of my soul. Gonna spend some more time with the one who knows me best and see if I can find peace and rest in him (and say sorry). I simply don't want these old childish habits in my life anymore. A paradigm shift is needed.
Over and out for now.
Holdsworth
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guitarist63
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Posted: Wed Aug 6th, 2008 12:41 am |
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Holdsworth, good to hear you're still going back to God for answers and comfort.
Thanks Paulos for your appraisal of my progress since October 2006. I joined here in about February 2007 and during 2007, there were two occasions when I saw what I shouldn't. Since then, there haven't been any repeats. I don't want to boast about that because there are other sins I'm dealing with at the moment and I know that no matter how determined I am to keep from sinning, there will be times when I will.
I was thinking about how love is obsessive in that it is preoccupied with the object (or person) of that love. It can be obsessive in a good way - if, for example, one is devoted to one's spouse for a lifetime and faithful to that spouse. Or it can be obsessive in a bad way as in self-love.
Not having anything to compare it with, I can't say whether sexual behaviour towards one's spouse can have a cyclic form just as sexual behaviour towards one's self can be cyclic. If it is, then to break that act of loving involves far more than just stopping a physical act. It involves a complete change in the person - spiritual, physical, heart and mind and body. Stopping this habit of mine must involve all these aspects.
I need to spend more time in prayer, seeking God, reading the bible. Through those activities working on the heart, I hope the change will come.
Am doing all right today.
Last edited on Wed Aug 6th, 2008 06:29 pm by guitarist63
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anonms
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Posted: Wed Aug 6th, 2008 06:49 am |
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I have been clean since my last post. praise God. 
no porn. no M. no nothing. I've found that exercise gets my mind off of the act, almost immediately. I used to frequent a site that housed a vast amount of porn (though it wasn't exclusively a porn site, it was more of a comedy getup, honestly). I purposely got banned, and have since spent much more time listening to music and watching TV, exercising, etc.
My friend's newly revealed homosexuality has greatly impeded our friendship, though I have not treated him any differently. I fear for him, please keep him in your prayers.
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Man
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Posted: Wed Aug 6th, 2008 11:02 am |
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Guitarist, it is great that you have managed free of p.
____________________
May the Lord bless you all!
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guitarist63
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Posted: Wed Aug 6th, 2008 06:37 pm |
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Thanks Man.
Until a few months ago I hadn't been tempted to go back and look at the sites where I went but now occasionally I receive a temptation but so far I have said no.
I don't want to go back to that.
I can't understand how God appears to have broken the power of that but not of the m.
Feeling comfortable today and not tempted.
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holdsworth
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Posted: Wed Aug 6th, 2008 07:43 pm |
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HI guitarist, please continue to say 'no' to the 'p'.
I know that there was a couple of particular images that drew me right back into 'p' (afew years back) after I let my guard down and acted on the temptations to view. it came at a very difficult and challenging time for me but also after a good time of freedom. Once I opened myself to that kind of lust again, that was it I was hooked once more and this has been my battle since that time. To sum up, the fire of lust inside me was smoldering and it reignited on that day for the worse.
today: very depressed and not functioning properly. Not given in so far. Have cried out to a God who I 'feel' was not there to be with me. I am trying to learn to not always trust my 'feelings'.
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Aug 7th, 2008 12:28 am |
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Thanks for your advice, Holdsworth.
I'll pray early morning now for God to give you peace. Peace that's from God and which we can't understand and can be so elusive.
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holdsworth
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Posted: Thu Aug 7th, 2008 09:13 am |
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Thanks for prayers Guitarist.
How many here have had intensified dreams in the first period where you are actively seeking to get free?
last few nights have had unsettling dreams pointing to vunerability and anxiety and things being out of control (from what I have read about these types of dreams-quite common).
Please - pray that I might find a good place to share my walk in faith and the difficulties faced. I have somewhere in mind but hope that it will be clarified.
today: slip up with 'p' (gotta be honest about this) and facing huge work challenge next few days.
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Man
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Posted: Thu Aug 7th, 2008 11:34 am |
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I experience regurarly wet dreams..
and a lot of tensions during daytime before the release in night.
Anyone have some similar experience?
____________________
May the Lord bless you all!
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Aug 7th, 2008 08:30 pm |
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Holdsworth, I'll pray you'll find a group locally to share with who will be sympathetic to your struggle.
Man, lately my dreams have been vivid. Sometimes they have been sexual but those occasions are very rare.
So far have not succumbed to the habit.
Last edited on Sat Aug 9th, 2008 12:05 am by guitarist63
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Man
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Posted: Thu Aug 7th, 2008 08:59 pm |
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I can't remember very very much of dreaming, just that tensions get high..
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Man
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Posted: Thu Aug 7th, 2008 09:13 pm |
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I must also admit, hope it is okay to take it here: that sometimes I seem to long a lot for a wife in bed at night
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May the Lord bless you all!
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sat Aug 9th, 2008 07:22 pm |
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Hello Man
It can be lonely being single. It can be very emotional at times.
Knats flying again in less than a week. Need to lean on God when it's easy and not just when it gets hard. I'll try that - I haven't yet. I've been treating this like an endurance test.
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Man
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Posted: Sun Aug 10th, 2008 11:18 am |
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Guitarist, how do you manage free of p? And others as well: How do you succeed?
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May the Lord bless you all!
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Man
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Posted: Sun Aug 10th, 2008 01:25 pm |
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Love: What is that? It is to give? Isn't it? I feel very often that I get explanations when I might search for accept and understanding or fellowship. To get long explanations about HOW IT IS might not help me very much. How is it with you guys?
____________________
May the Lord bless you all!
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guitarist63
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Posted: Sun Aug 10th, 2008 08:42 pm |
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Hi Man.
I decided that I'd had enough of looking at it and stopped.
After 6 days, succumbed again to the m
Last edited on Sun Aug 10th, 2008 08:46 pm by guitarist63
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