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minuspride
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Posted: Tue Jul 22nd, 2008 06:51 pm |
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| I broke/faltered today, 7/22/08. Last time I saw P was 7/16/08 and M 7/7/08. Considering that I used to do it everyday, it is a small achievement. Still need a lot of work, prayers and devotional. Glad this is here for me to tell, maybe some conversation/feedback.
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Man
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Posted: Tue Jul 22nd, 2008 06:59 pm |
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Minuspride: Good
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anonms
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 02:40 am |
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No screwups so far. last night I fell asleep around 1 or so, and when I woke up, it was 4 in the afternoon. That's made today a bit easier, but I will admit I'm feeling restless tonight. I've called and talked to a couple of people on the phone - my girlfriend was working with her band all day, so she was exhausted, and honestly not much help. She didn't seem to want to really talk, so I eased out of the conversation and told her to go to sleep. I play music with a group myself, and had an interviewer call and ask me some questions... that was interesting enough and it gave me time to get my mind away from what I wasn't doing. No real porn came into view today, but several suggestive things did. I felt the impulse to act on them, but I picked up my guitar and played until they passed.
in about 30 minutes, I'll be 3 days without Masturbation. I know that doesn't seem like much, but I'm feeling progressively better about this as I go.
This forum looks like it's been inactive for a while, but I'm still going to continue posting, if only to keep a tally of successes.
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free_dove
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 11:50 am |
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Hello,
I'm back and want to be accountable here on this board again.
I watch P Monday, Yesterday and today after six days of freedom.
I don't want to give up the fight against P.
Blessings
Free_dove
____________________
Porn is a curse. "Be killing sin or it will be killing you" John Owen
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free_dove
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 02:02 pm |
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Fell again with after my first message... I have decided to come here everytime I fell...
____________________
Porn is a curse. "Be killing sin or it will be killing you" John Owen
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minuspride
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 02:10 pm |
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freedove,
focus on christ and not P and M. He's preparing you for something great but take small steps to get into the word of God (bible).
Peace
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
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guitarist63
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 09:23 pm |
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Hello minuspride, Free_Dove, Man, others here
Welcome back to the board, Free_Dove. Glad you're here.
Welcome minus pride. Jesus said that every day has enough trouble. So my advice is take each day at a time but always have Jesus in focus.
No offences to report since last. A lifetime's commitment, daily walking the walk.
This accountability thread has always been active, as far as I can see.
Last edited on Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 09:25 pm by guitarist63
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holdsworth
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 11:34 pm |
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another step back again tonight. Can hopefully make two steps forward after some more prayer. Tonight was very 'habitual'. It is strange that even after a very positive day I can still bury it under this stuff.
Not much else to say but Hi to all here.
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confessorj
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Posted: Wed Jul 23rd, 2008 11:58 pm |
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Hello again everyone. It has been longer than I want to admit since my last post, and I have done poorly in that time. Time to get back in line and take it one day at a time.
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love&hate
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 03:31 am |
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I know how it feels to fall even at the most unlikely periods of time. I have felt very connected to God and other Christians at church only to p&m the vary same day. Sad but true. My times of victory are when i think Godly thoughts and are busy. When i fall i am thinking of what i am not supposed to do.. which never works. To crucify your passions you do not give lust any attention and telling yourself not to engage in p or m never works (at least for me). To crucify something is to let it slowly die by by not giving it what it needs to exist. For me thinking thoughts like "don't look at her, don't look at those images, don't do this, don't do that are only feeding the dying man on the cross. Instead i try to meditate on what Godly thoughts. Those are the success times.
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anonms
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 05:19 am |
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so today was pretty easy - I had band practice, and that took up most of my time. I went to a concert tonight. No screwups at all, really.
My girlfriend is getting increasingly distant since I stopped Masturbating. I don't get it. I didn't even tell her I was doing anything different, and she suddenly doesn't have anything to say to me.
I went to her page on a social networking site tonight, and it no longer lists me as her boyfriend, which is odd, since she called and talked earlier. I'm pretty much sure that she will be breaking up with me shortly. I feel sick to my stomach.
I'm trying really hard to do the right thing by quitting this bad habit, and the way that she's acting isn't helping at all. I really need some support from her, and she's giving none. God, I feel sick.
4 days without Masturbation. pretty good so far, I guess. The next couple of days should prove whether or not I'm doing it for her or for me.
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minuspride
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 01:22 pm |
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anonms wrote: pretty good so far, I guess. The next couple of days should prove whether or not I'm doing it for her or for me.
Anonms, my dad always tells me to do everything for God and the relationships will work itself out. Following that rule really works as it relates to relationships. I haven't fully embraced it with regards to my addiction but one day at a time.
Love&Hate: You're right, I try focusing on what is good and try to work towards what is Godly. I Need to be stronger.
That said, 've been free from P for 1 day and M free for 2 days .
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Guitarist_John
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 04:08 pm |
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It's certainly been a long time. Failure finally drove me to come here and start posting again. It feels good to recount my troubles with others, not in a self-pitiful way, but in Biblical terms, and keep the fire of hope and faith alive through fellowship.
Yup I failed again. The last time I had MB'd was the weekend before last. I had given in to M on the 14th and the 12th, and I cant remember the last time I did it before that. Today though, was a double failure. Sadly, I actually indulged three times today. It's terrible. The double failure part was that, one of the times, the last time, it was directed at a picture. It had been a long time since I had done that, a very long time.
Welcome anonms, and any others who have joined since I last posted.
By the way, anonms, I remember when I first started making the hard commitment to fight lust. Seeing you deciding to make a stand gave me a little inspiration too. Keep on fighting brother, and don't forget the Lord's role in all this.
I think its also neat that your in a band. I play guitar as well by the way. As does guitarist63, in case it wasn't obvious  .
I feel bad that I had indulged three times in one day (something that I haven't done in a while either). Last Friday I was tempted very strongly to give in, but by God's grace and by something interesting happening, I resisted. I'm glad that I managed to make it thus far, and I plan to make it even farther, with the Holy Spirit's help.
I'd love to go on, but I must go, I have some errands to do.
God bless!
John
____________________
"In the world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace that where I am there you may also be." - Jesus
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guitarist63
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 06:29 pm |
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Hello Minuspride, GuitaristJohn, Anonms, Holdsworth and others here
The struggle continues for me. A sweltering night didn't help and slept badly and fitfully. Woke again about 6.00 and succumbed.
GuitaristJohn, glad to see you posting. Is the building work on the house finished? That must be a stress for you. Glad you're given some errands. Keeping busy helping others I find is a great help.
Anonms, sorry to hear your girlfriend has been so unforgiving. I am just reminded of what Jesus said to the crowd who were about to stone the woman accused of adultery. Too many are eager to cast stones at others and forget their own sins.
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Guitarist_John
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 09:04 pm |
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Hello G63
Yeah, anonms, I'm sorry about your girlfriend too. How strange that, when you come to an important part in your life, a turn for the better actually, she begins to grow cold.
For some reason that reminds me of Pilgrim's Progress, when Christian, the pilgrim, discovers the burden on his soul, and decides he must make changes and travel the Way, and everyone around him disdains him.
Of course he isn't alone, there are many other pilgrims just like him, and some of those in his past choose to follow the Way themselves.
Maybe it means that God may have something new for you, now that you've decided to dedicate your body to the Lord. Maybe now he's beginning to make room in your life for something even better to come in? Why settle for the best that you can acquire when you can have God's best?
I'm not making much sense, and I don't know for sure about this, its just a thought that really stuck out to me when I read your post.
Whatever .
Time will tell.
____________________
"In the world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace that where I am there you may also be." - Jesus
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Guitarist_John
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 09:07 pm |
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minuspride wrote: anonms wrote: pretty good so far, I guess. The next couple of days should prove whether or not I'm doing it for her or for me.
Anonms, my dad always tells me to do everything for God and the relationships will work itself out. Following that rule really works as it relates to relationships.
Amen!
That's what my dad says too!
____________________
"In the world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace that where I am there you may also be." - Jesus
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confessorj
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 10:56 pm |
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Somewhat difficult to resist today, but so far i have not given in.
anonms...the girlfriend situation is difficult i know, but everyone on here is giving good advice. hang in there.
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Man
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Posted: Thu Jul 24th, 2008 11:06 pm |
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Guitarist_John wrote:
I feel bad that I had indulged three times in one day (something that I haven't done in a while either). Last Friday I was tempted very strongly to give in, but by God's grace and by something interesting happening, I resisted. I'm glad that I managed to make it thus far, and I plan to make it even farther, with the Holy Spirit's help.
By God's grace you resisted. I don't get this christian language. Does that mean that God doesn't give grace when a man give in..?
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anonms
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Posted: Fri Jul 25th, 2008 05:40 am |
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to Man:
Let me preface this by mentioning that the mods are trying to keep the accountability thread on topic, so please post your question in the appropriate thread if my answer does not satisfy you.
I want you to know in plain and simple terms that the person responding to your question is unclean and human and in no way an authority on theology.
That said, I can see grace being given regardless of whether or not I succumb to sin. The trick isn't understanding it - it's believing and accepting that it's there.
when a christian says something happened "by God's grace", it doesn't always mean that they believe God had a puppetmaster- type role in the event's occurrence. all too often, it's a way of saying thank you to God, for creating a world in which free will, good and bad, success and failure are options.
people often think that if God was perfect, he would have created a world in which no one could sin, or hurt, or fail, or die. But a world like that isn't freedom, and it isn't perfect. It's slavery. Thank God that he allows us to live and to fall short - lest we be slaves.
That's all well and good, but it really is just a bit of an introduction into my statements for the night, and my recapping on the day.
I knew going into this that I would screw it up at one point or another. I hoped it would be later rather than sooner, but I suppose the opposite is true. This period of 5 days has been the longest I've been without masturbation for months. I feel freed in that regard. However, I did screw up today, partially out of boredom, but also out of apathy and stress. Ironically, it wasn't sparked by lust (though obviously, as it all too often does with masturbation, lust became a factor later on).
Tonight my brother and I went to see the Dark Knight. It was a fantastic movie that was not only intelligent in it's execution, but metaphorical in nature - it really was a fantastic story of good, evil, and the lines that blur between them. During the movie, Nicole (which is my girlfriend's proper name, though I call her something else) called, and I slipped away from the theatre for a moment. She was upset with something, but she wouldn't tell me what. When she deduced that I was still in the theatre, she wouldn't tell me anything other than that a bunch of bull was going on where she was at, despite my prodding. I'm worried for her - not just our relationship, but her well-being.
I asked her if I could pray for her, and she laughed at me and told me not to. I think she's trying to be an island through whatever storm is going on in her life, but as well as I or anyone here should know, this is impossible. I'm going to have to break her wishes and pray for her regardless... I would humbly request that you all kindly do the same.
all this in mind, the tally is reset. 1 day since m.
thanks guys. you're helping more than you know, and your support is vastly appreciated.
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Guitarist_John
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Posted: Fri Jul 25th, 2008 09:18 am |
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By God's grace you resisted. I don't get this christian language. Does that mean that God doesn't give grace when a man give in..?
You know what, you have a point.
I'm not even sure why I say that.
I think its because, when we resist, we feel bad about giving the credit to ourselves, so we attribute the victory to God.
Or maybe its like this: God extends the grace (whatever form it may appear in) and its up to us to accept it or deny it.
I'm not sure. I'll ask my dad about this, he'd probably know.
Thanks though for bringing this up Man.
____________________
"In the world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace that where I am there you may also be." - Jesus
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