By Mike Genung
Pornography is an evil, staged act of abuse and torment; the actors and actresses hate what they’re doing (as well as each other). There is no love, joy, or ecstasy as we’re led to believe; it’s all a sick lie. (Picture trying to function while a camera is inches from your groin, there are lights everywhere and the room is filled with people.) Some actresses are coerced into complying with their “director’s demands;” many are on drugs and/or alcohol in an attempt to numb the trauma from the experience.
“Most girls who enter the porn industry do one video and quit. The experience is so painful, horrifying, embarrassing, humiliating for them that they never do it again.” Luke Ford, quoted by CBS News
Want more proof? Read a former porn actress’ testimony.
Many use sex, porn, and lust as a sick substitute for love, comfort and peace. In marriage, sex provides warmth and intimacy with another, but even in marriage, sex cannot fill an empty heart with love. Sex is not love; it is meant to be an act that expresses love between one man and his wife.
We all yearn for an answer to the pain in our lives; we want something that can assure, comfort and heal our hurting hearts. We want to know that we matter, that we have value, that there’s something in us worthy of love. And, we want to be loved.
But all too often, the messages we hear growing make love sound impossible. Some were abused physically, emotionally, sexually and even spiritually. “You’ll never amount to anything… you’re fit only to be used by others… you’re too filthy, ugly, or soiled for anyone to accept you. If they ever knew what you were really like…” The lies replay in our minds until we can’t stand the torment, and so we look for something, anything that will offer us some measure of sanity or comfort, even if it’s something as sick and twisted as pornography, or destructive as an adulterous affair.
Sex isn’t the answer. I remember well the shame I would always feel after having masturbated to porn, or how filthy I felt after having had sex with a prostitute, or the emptiness that came with promiscuity. Lust can never satisfy, nor can it heal the pain in your heart, in fact, it only makes it worse—you’ll be lonelier, emptier, more miserable, and more ashamed than before.
Ultimately, sexual addiction is about the search for true love. True love sees all of our pain, ugliness, shame and scars, and isn’t scared away. True love has nothing to do with performance, or measuring up to someone’s standards. True love is pure, kind and gentle, undistorted by selfish motives, pride or greed. Because we’re all soiled with sin, true love can’t be found in another person.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Jesus Christ is the only one who offers you true love. His is a love that can’t be corrupted, bought or stolen; He doesn’t get turned off by our sin, shame and pain. He is real, and His love is powerful. I know, because I’ve experienced His touch and heard His gentle words of kindness. There’s nothing like hearing the living God whisper: “I love you, I cherish you, I know what you’ve done and it doesn’t scare me away. I died for you, and I’ve wept when you were hurt. Let me cleanse you and wash your shame away. Let me heal you.”
Maybe you’re aching as you read this. “I’ve had enough of the lies and pain from living life my way. Tell me more.”
For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost. Luke 19:10
Jesus Christ came to earth 2000 years ago as a man to be killed by His creation—broken men and women—so He could be with us. Our sins are a wall between us and God; the Lord is holy, and sin and evil have no place in Heaven. In God’s Word we read that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). It is with death that pays the penalty of sin.
Even though I’ve been a Christian for years, there are still days when I marvel at Jesus Christ. How could anyone love soiled, hurting people so much that He would allow those same people to kill Him? His love is too deep, wide, and alive for us to completely understand; like nothing we’ll ever experience on earth.
Jesus Christ was shamed, stripped, scourged, and then nailed to a wooden cross, where He died. Three days later, He rose from the dead, paying the penalty of sin for all time.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16
You won’t find true love, peace, and healing for the hurt and scars in your heart from porn, an affair, masturbation, or sex. It’s not available from other men or women. The abundant life is only found from the Living God.
I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10
“I’m ready; I’ve had enough of the lies. What do I do next?”
But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name… John 1:12
God is holding a free gift out to you right now; one that was very costly to Him.
He wants all of you, and, like a jealous lover, He won’t share you with your old way of life. Read the following from the book of Acts:
“This Jesus God raised up again, to which we are all witnesses. “Therefore having been exalted to the right hand of God, and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, He has poured forth this which you both see and hear. “For it was not David who ascended into heaven, but he himself says: `THE LORD SAID TO MY LORD, “SIT AT MY RIGHT HAND, UNTIL I MAKE YOUR ENEMIES A FOOTSTOOL FOR YOUR FEET.”‘ “Therefore let all the house of Israel know for certain that God has made Him both Lord and Christ–this Jesus whom you crucified.” Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brethren, what shall we do?” Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. “For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to Himself.” Acts 2:32-39
To “repent” is to turn away from sin. We don’t come to Christ expecting to have sex with prostitutes while calling Him Lord anymore than we would tell our wife–to–be we were going to commit adultery while married to her. This doesn’t mean that the struggle with sexual sin stops for all time (because we will continue to be tempted and in fact, the battle against sin intensifies after we receive Christ), but it does mean we’re turning away from the evil god of Lust and turning towards Jesus Christ, the new Lord of our life.
That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; Romans 10:9
If you’re ready for the abundant life that Jesus Christ offers, and to turn away from sin, here’s what to do:
1. Approach the Lord by focusing on Him. He’s here with you now, and He knows the true intentions of your heart. Don’t worry about trying to get the words right, just talk to Him as you would a good friend. Feel free to ask Him to help you with what you’re about to do.
2. If you’re willing to turn to Christ and away from you sin, tell Him so.
3. If you believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who died on the cross for all of your sins, tell him so.
4. If you’re willing for Him to be the true Lord of your life, invite Him to take the throne of your heart and be your God.
Now, you are God’s child. If you would like one of our staff to pray with you, please contact us at email@blazinggrace.org and we’ll get in touch with you; please remember to provide your phone number and the best time to reach you. I strongly suggest that you get plugged into a local church that teaches God’s Word immediately so you can be encouraged and continue to grow in the Lord. This is critical—please don’t try to go it alone.
If you’ve made this commitment to the Lord, please email us so we can pray for you; we’ll also send you a Bible if you don’t have one.